


Perfect no Matter what

by Star_Trashinum



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: AU where Yoshiko is nonbinary, Other, also a college au, minor angst too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Trashinum/pseuds/Star_Trashinum
Summary: Yoshiko works up their courage to let Ruby help.





	Perfect no Matter what

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Yoshiko is nonbinary, set during college.

_This is the end, isn’t it? Everything’s going to go horribly, I know it; it’s just my luck; I know she’s going to hate me._

Yoshiko clutches her bag as they trudged down the block, reaching the all familiar grounds of the Kurosawa household, albeit much more jumpy and nervous than they usually were. Even though Yoshiko tended to be a great ball of nerves pretty often (*cough* Exams *cough*), Ruby was the one person she could confide in; someone she could simply be herself, however dorky or outrageous they were being. Walking her way towards, the door, Yoshiko gave a quick knock as they waited patiently for Ruby to open the door; for a family so well known and wealthy, the lack of a doorbell at their house was odd to say the least. Biding their time before Ruby came to answer, Yoshiko’s mind danced with uncertainties, making her fear something as natural as visiting her girlfriend’s house; what if this problem was something even she couldn’t help with? Wrestling helplessly against their own thoughts, a set of wide eyes quickly broke Yoshiko’s internal monologue, and right back to the very reason they were here.

            “Y-Yoshi! Y-You could have called, you were lucky that I heard the knocking over the sound of the TV,” Ruby says as she gives Yoshiko a kiss on the cheek, “now, you told me you wanted to talk about something important, right?”

Yoshiko froze in fear as they attempted to greet their girlfriend, forcing in vain for any word to come out, but all that could come out was the choking of air.

_If I don’t know what’s happening, why would Ruby know? I...I-I’m so stupid… I don't even know what to say to Ruby… This is all stupid and useless._

Yoshiko’s face contorted as they tried to hold in their tears, but quiet, choking sobs were all that could come out as Yoshiko buried their head in their hands, tears starting to flow before a single word could come out. Turning around to hide in embarrassment and shame, Yoshiko’s first steps in an attempt to run away are stopped by familiar arms wrapping around their waist, pulling them backwards. Ruby lays her head on Yoshiko’s back, giving them as much comfort as she’s able to give without knowing what’s wrong; what’s most important is that she gives Yoshiko her undevoted attention. “H-Hey, Yoshi, baby, you can let it out first, and then we can talk. Don’t worry if you’re scared or if something bad will happen; R-Ruby needs you to cry right now so you can get it out of your system.” As if on command, Yoshiko lets out a cough as tears stain the stones of the entrance way, sobbing and rhythmically stopping, as if to try to speak with something in the way.

“I… I don’t know what’s-- [hic] wrong Rue I’m just s-- I’m just nervous you’ll hate me and I don’t even... know how to word it and--” Yoshiko’s explanation goes unfinished as they begin to cry again, obviously too distressed to tell Ruby what was wrong. Ruby lets Yoshiko take their time recovering, hearing the sobs descend into much calmer sniffles. Giving Yoshiko all the time they needed, Ruby makes sure that the crying had run its course before letting go of the hug, to outstretch an arm for Yoshiko.

“Are you ready to come inside now Yoshi? Y-You can take as long as you’d like, I can wait for you if you need time.”

“N-No… I-- I want to go i-inside.”

Yoshiko takes Ruby’s hand and watches as she steers the both of them to her room, soft and comfortable as it always was. Like her, Ruby’s room is soft and cute, and the pillows and plushies that form a mountain on her bed certainly lift Yoshiko’s drooping spirits just a little.. Ruby gets up onto her bed, opening her arms up as Yoshiko sits down, hugged from behind yet again; this time more comforting than consoling. Spending precious time together with Ruby, Yoshiko stays quiet as they try more than anything to regain their composure, taking long breaths as they finally begin to explain their reasonings for coming over.

“S-So...I… I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while Rue… but I could never find the words to explain it, y-y’know; I mean, you’re always better with words and you always know what to say so well--” Yoshiko notices the spiral of self-deprecating he’s taking both of them on right now, and quells the oncoming anxious tears to at least explain their situation, “what I was trying to say was… I-- I don’t really feel like I’m a.. .girl.. B-but at the same time, I-I don’t feel like a guy.” Finally getting the big topic out of the way, Yoshiko takes Ruby’s silence as disapproval, which sends their mind racing to try and cover what must have been stupid and confusing to their girlfriend. “I-I’m sorry I sound so weird… I don’t know where I-- I fit in… I don’t understand it and it’s so stupid… W-why would you ever w-want to date someone that isn’t a guy or a girl...I’m nothing, I-I’m just a lie, are--” Like the ebb and flow of the tides, Yoshiko’s tears begin to flow again, ashamed at their own uncertainty about what they were, Expecting coldness and confusion on Ruby’s part, Yoshiko instead felt themselves being clung to closer by Ruby, feeling wetness on their back as Ruby began to cry as well. “O-Oh no… oh no oh no I’m sorry Ruby o-oh God I--” Yoshiko said in panic as she felt Ruby crying, feeling like their happy days were quickly coming to an end, “I knew I- I knew I shouldn’t have told you it’s OK… if you, y’know… want to break up… it’s fine.”

Ruby moves her head off of Yoshiko’s back, wiping her tears as she places her hands on Yoshiko’s waist, gesturing them to turn around. Waiting as they adjust themselves to face Ruby, their tear-soaked face looks at Ruby in fear, even as Ruby takes her hands and places them on Yoshiko’s. “I-I don’t know for sure about w-what you might -- [sniff] be going through,” Ruby begins, gripping onto Yoshiko’s hands as she expressed the bounding support in her heart, “but I want you to know that I would never leave you over something like that Yoshi. I love you because you’re you, and if you're looking for what that is, I would be more than glad to help you.” Yoshiko stares wide-eyed at Ruby for a few seconds, or what might have been an eternity for the couple, before leaping forward to caress Ruby, clutching her tightly as they let all their pains and anxiety go away. Yoshiko’s sobs ring throughout the Kurosawa household yet again, but the pained and scared wails of before are replaced with ones that are much more joyous and cathartic.

Ruby strokes Yoshiko’s back, soothing them in any way she can, hearing the post-crying hiccups as Yoshiko’s tears cease. Feeling Yoshiko pull away, Ruby smiles at the crooked, and genuine smile that Yoshiko has, brightening it as she kisses their cheek. Yoshiko returns the favour with a kiss to the cheek of their own, and soon enough, the couple flops onto the bed, holding cuddling each other like they’ve done plenty of times before. Like clockwork, Yoshiko rolls around just a bit in bed, facing their back to Ruby as they’re spooned by their smaller girlfriend, basking in the familiar warmth and care that they’ve felt many times before. Yoshiko’s eyes close for a few darting seconds, before Ruby’s voice catches their attention.

“H-Hey Yoshi; y-you talked about how you were scared about not feeling like a girl or a guy, right?” Ruby asked, “w-what if I tried to help you with it; I-I want to make sure you’re happy and you know what’s going on.”

“O-Oh… that’s-- that’s too sweet of you, Rue.” Yoshiko feels their heart grow even warmer at Ruby’s dedication to helping them, and they agree to Ruby’s idea as they pull their phone out of their pocket. Fumbling around her apps, Yoshiko pulls Google up, contemplating what words they could use to find what they were looking for. “R-Rue… what do you think I-I should search… I mean… I don’t even know how to start it; what do I do…”

Sensing Yoshiko’s anxiety rising yet again, Ruby goes through every word that Yoshiko confided to her, hoping to spring anything that could help them out. Hours go by as the two do as much research as the internet will allow them to do; Ruby happily calling Yoshiko their beloved and their significant other, which resonates perfectly in Yoshiko’s heart. Learning about being nonbinary, which was now Yoshiko’s favourite word alongside ‘Ruby’ and ‘Marshmallow’, felt like puzzle pieces that were missing for years lining up beautifully, making parts that they never knew were empty feel whole. Ruby picks out clothes that they think Yoshiko would enjoy; sketching comfy and stylish jeans and warm flannels while Yoshiko scrolls through pages of haircuts, if they were to ever get one, but most for Ruby’s animated reactions to seeing what might be the future Yoshiko. Focused on one of her quick sketches of a blue hoodie, Ruby is taken aback by a set of arms wrapping around her shoulders, and a kiss to the top of her head.

            “Thank you for being so wonderful, Ruby,” Yoshiko says, nuzzling closer to their girlfriend to let the moment sit just a bit longer, “I’m so happy that I can come to you for whatever and you’ll always help me.”  
            Ruby gives a big smile, savouring yet another perfect moment as she lets herself be embraced, “and I’ve never been more thankful to have a partner as wonderful as you, Yoshi; no matter what you may think, you’ll always make me happy.” Finally at ease after feeling nothing but pain and tension, Yoshiko rests themselves against Ruby’s shoulder, feeling truly that no matter what, that Ruby would be there for them.


End file.
